When I was six months old, my biological mother abandoned me and left me in an orphanage. I have never seen her.
Later I was adopted, but I did not become a loved child. I grew up in a family where violence for so-called educationaд purposes was considered normal. Fear and the constant expectation of warmth and maternal love formed the basis of my childhood reality.
At the age of seventeen, I was expelled from the home and told the full truth about my origins.
Thus, I lost my home and family for the second time, and in this way I lost my mother twice — first physically, and then emotionally.

The left part of the triptych is filled with a pulsating light of life. This is my life, born not thanks to, but in spite of circumstances. It is alive, vibrating, yet part of it is simply absent. Where my mother should have been, there is nothing — only emptiness.
On the right is a pulsating, luminous silhouette of the mother I never had. It is assembled from imagination, from observing the mothers of my friends, from ideas of maternal love, care, and emotional closeness. Around this image there is emptiness. This is my reality.

At the center of the triptych is an abstract form that directly reveals the principle of the polyphantom — its very nature. The colors here are chosen symbolically: one gives rise to another, forming an inseparable unity. Blue is the color of life, the color of the Divine Mother, the mother who gives life, and the color of the sun — the color of light, the foundation of all that is spiritual.

In this triptych, the objects of my research are illusion and vibration — both visual and internal.
Illusion manifests itself as the instability and abstract nature of form, the absence of a fixed image, and the impossibility of unambiguous interpretation.
Warm–cool color vibration functions as my subjective sensation of presence and absence — an oscillation between light and emptiness, between appearance and disappearance, between reality and fantasy.

Through Polyphantom, I was able to express the feelings that accompanied me throughout my entire life.